Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Today, I'm talkin about....

Black Beauty

I know it's been a while since I've written here, but there wasn't a subject that got under my skin so much that the only way for me to vent was to write.

Well, some idiot changed that today. I need to vent.

This has to be one of the most offensive articles yet. It's up there with the story about black men who don't like natural black hair on black women. 

Could this be one of the reasons that we (black women) have a hard time seeing our men with white women? YEP! We have been taught in this country and the world that black women aren't as pretty as  white women, especially white women with blonde hair and blue eyes. Black women with darker skin tones have an even tougher time being seen as beautiful, by a lot of people. Even within the black race. When our men don't want to date us, and they want to have a family with a white woman, it feels like they don't see us (black women) as beautiful or desirable.

We all are aware that, for the most part, people just fall in love with the people they love. But I think that opinions, like the writer of this article, is the reason why (some) black women feel slighted when it comes to our black men with women from another race. Music videos with black male artists, usually have light to nearly white women acting or dancing in their videos, as if browner skinned women aren't as beautiful. I stopped watching a couple of television shows because of the black male actors being paired up with white female actresses. It is hard for me to see and there is a sharp pain in my stomach, even though I know it's wrong of me to feel that way. Television seems to be putting forth an effort to show more mixed-race relationships with black actresses and white actors. Which is one of the reasons why I LOVE sci-fi. Most sci-fi movies use actors of color, and it's hard to be racist when you're human vs. alien. That's when we all HAVE to get along. 

Star Trek was one of the first television shows to have a black woman as a sex symbol, and Next Generation is one of the first shows to bring up the issue of sexuality, back in the late 80's. We could all learn a lot from science fiction. 

Maybe one day in the future there will be comments about a black woman as a beautiful woman, not a woman who is "beautiful for a black woman."  

Now, these are only my opinions. I'm NOT saying that all black women think like I do, I'm not the national spokeswoman for black women. I only speak for myself. 

Proof that the writer of that article doesn't know what he's talking about? Duh, me!

Peace and love

Monday, May 2, 2011

Today, I'm talkin about....


I don't like being misunderstood. I hate it when people read what I write and try to make assumptions about who I am. 

I've had someone who read my posts and thought I hated homosexuals. I don't hate any one group of people. I may not like what they do, and may not agree that this was God's plan for their life, but that sure doesn't mean I hate anyone who is gay. That mean's I'll let God decide. After posting that subject someone felt comfortable enough to write me and make a comment about sissies and bull-daggers. WTF is a bull-dagger anyway?  And why does anyone feel the need to talk about something that is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS? I don't agree with it being okay to have open homosexuality, and I don't think there is a comparison between being gay and being black. But I'll be damned if I will sit by and watch someone get beat up or listen to someone speaking so negatively about a person they think is different. I'm tired of people being hateful.

I also have been misunderstood when I wrote about being overweight. I AM NOT ASHAMED OF WHO I AM. Others have been ashamed (of me) and that's on them, not on me. If you don't like me the way I am, keep it going. I don't like that I've gained back a majority of the weight that I lost and would love to lose it again. But I will always be honest about my weight, especially now that I'm 48 years-old. When I meet someone on the internet and he wants to know about me, I tell them  "if you don't like big women, or if you're scared of what your friends will say because you are dating a larger woman, then I'm not the one for you." No where in that statement did I say, I'm fat and ashamed of myself so you may not like me. I was teased so much as a kid (all of ya'll know who you are too) that I grew a very thick skin and an attitude that if you have the nerve to say it to my face, then I will have the nerve to cuss you out or point out your ugly features (nose, eyes, hair or lack of, and skin, etc). 

People will always find something wrong with someone else, but to be mean to someone because of their size is immature and wrong. You don't know what's going on in that person's life. Did any of ya'll who teased me back in my school days, realize that I was deeply depressed about my life, and was a child who had lost a lot? Most didn't care, they were just too busy trying to point out my flaws! Which is mean, a form of terrorizing and it's just plain old bullying. 

Now I'm not saying it's okay to be overweight, I'm saying it's no one's business if you or anyone else is overweight. I am not saying I like being overweight, I don't! But that's because I lost the weight before and I know that I was able to do a whole lot more than I can now. I hope and pray that when I get this new bionic knee (that's what I call it, psyching myself up for recovery) I'll be able to dance, walk, swim and exercise like I used to. 

My point is that no one is perfect and I'm not looking for a perfect looking man. I've had those and they suck (the ones that I chose)!  At my age, I am only looking for someone who can add to my happiness, not take it away; someone who will work with me on anything that needs to be done, instead of talking about how hard doing the task will be. (a time-share or a nice retirement package would be nice too)

Now, someone also thought that when I talked about skin color, that I have an issue with my color. WTF? Anyone who knows me, knows I love my color, my race and my American culture. I am who I am. I come from a mixture of nationalities and unlike a couple of my siblings, I was born with color. When I described my "crush" as the "light-skinned, Michael Jackson afro dude," it wasn't because I don't like darker skinned people. Again, anyone who knows me knows that is very far from true. I will admit that it took me until I was in college to realize that light skin doesn't mean more intelligence than darker skin. That had a lot to do with the fact that I went to a predominantly white school for most of my early years, and when I did go to a high school with more black people, it was those black people who teased me about everything from my weight, to my way of speaking to my hair. When I got to Tuskegee I discovered that most black people are a lot more intelligent than I had known. That skin color doesn't make you dumb or smart and there were a lot more black people who spoke like I did, using proper English, who were every color in the black people rainbow. 

I love my people, those people would be African, Irish, Dutch, German, and Tlinget. (the Irish is the only white blood from slavery, the other white nationalities came to my family tree through love) Don't hate me because I'm not white enough or not black enough. 

I am who I am! I am Maria and I have a loving heart, a generous and giving soul, an intelligent mind, I admit when I'm wrong, and I'm quick to defend my family and friends. I am not always a happy person, but I'm not always mean either. I am quick to jump in to help, I have always believed in The Golden Rule and I took my Girl Scout vows very seriously while growing up. I am beautiful inside and out. I am now the Maria that God intended me to be. If you don't like it take it up with God and don't bring it to me. 

Peace and Love